Let the Feast Begin!

You know the holidays are fast approaching when you get the detailed email from the kids’ great grandma, Stella, regarding what to bring, how to bring it, where to park and how to emotionally approach the event. I adore everything about this wacky lady, from her quotations around everything (to carve the “bird”…. K, bring a “Green”…) With so many quotations around everything, like cramming for a final, I take the safe approach and assume everything is important. But should I forget, "no problem". Stella has every dish, every plate and every utensil set three weeks in advance with sticky notes to remind her, and us, what is needed, where it is needed, and again, why it is needed. I fully expect a card near Sophia’s strap-on booster chair (which Stella graciously bought at Target last week for nine bucks – she’s a nifty thrifty like me) that reads “Paventi great granddaughter – Mangia!”

Between my four, James folks, his sister K. & hubby Mr. T., cousin M. and various neighbors in the mobile home park, this double wide will be rocking. Excuse me, after one martini from Stella, and the fact that everyone, but me, is Italian, it will be talking and rocking.

Did I mention Stella won first prize at her park’s Halloween party for her classy rendition of a pregnant ballerina? At 84, she’s online daily, drives everywhere, just got back from Maui with her young friend (Young friend meaning only fifty four), goes to parties with me and has hit on 30 year olds (I quote you… her arms were around a friend of mine, D, who at the time was 35… and she says “If I were only 30 years younger” at which I replied ‘You’d be 50” at which she replied “You’re a smart ass. Just like my family. You can stay.” Oh, and she now has a blog. This KILLS me. Link to come.

I don’t expect festivities to be quiet, but life is too short for silence, and as long as Stella’s throwing the party, I’m going to crash it. (I will also be crashing my SUV if I drink her martini, hence, it will be Thousand Oaks finest tap water on the rocks for me. Cecelia can attest to my martini handling skills)

Here’s the first email (of several I’m sure). Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Sidenote: I must add that I find it hysterical that while I am bringing a bottle of wine, and K. is bringing only a green dish, we get primo double wide parking spaces. Meanwhile, JV and Lottie are schlepping the turkey and stuffing and they get to “take a hike”. Ha! Ha! Ha! That tickles me to no end. Drag out the turkey feathers, I can’t stop laughing.

Stella’s email

Hey family ! Now hear this....... Our Thanksgiving dinner will be simple, but the get-together, fun...

Plan on being her for drinks at 4:00 (JV to carve the "bird" at 4:30 (cuz I need the oven for a half hour before dinner to warm foods..), and we'll have dinner at 5 PM.

I have made and in the freezer, a sweet-potato dish; a Ms Cubbison's stuffing dish, a potato casserole, and will have a green salad. I have dinner rolls, 3 bottles of wine, pie/cake, coffee and "enough" simple-type orderves and chips. I also have plenty of Vodka, Sprite and several beers, plus milk....and oh, also the whole cranberry sauce (canned, but good). All I need now is: from Lottie...the "bird", un-stuffed, with directions to cook so it'll be ready to carve by 4:30; " Lottie...the gravy (from Wms-Sanoma?... lots of it) " K. new ...a "green" (warm) veggie dish " Andrea...a simple bottle of wine ("1" inexpensive bottle is enough...I already have 3) and, of course, I will need your "appetites" and happy faces.... (Andrea - don't need a hi-chair, etc.)

The driveway will be open to park 2 cars (one for James and one for K., cause they will be carrying things....so JV and Lottie "take a hike" (pun, natch!). I, too, will be taking a hike and will park my Toyota also in the guest parking below. I invited Michael who said he would like to join us but may have plans to use his place at the river over the long weekend; said he would let me know....would be nice to have him.

Any questions, email me. Otherwise, that's the plan...and don't need any help. It's all done...and pls, do not bring extras as it will only be going back home with you (I'm starting a "diet" the following week.....) You can stop laughing now...... luv my family! mom/gram/gr-gram