"A mother who radiates self-love and self-acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter from low self-esteem." Naomi Wolf.
Something to think about - especially if we're raising girls. Do we all want to be thinner or more beautiful? Sure. But this standard of beauty (especially in Los Angeles) is so unattainable, and leaves so many girls feeling inadequate.
Let's all stop starving ourselves and use our bodies for strength, shall we? I'm not saying to use our kids' shovels for spoons, but carbs are not the devil. Some of my happiest memories are sitting down with my mom at a local coffee shop, smelling her coffee and keeping a fixed eye on the waitress who was due out with some dutch apple pie. I never once heard my mom say "Oh, my God, the calories." We laughed and indulged and went home to boring veggies for the rest of the week. I grew up a normal size, never barfed up my food, and managed to find a man who loves me for the size 14 I am. (I actually found quite a few, but family reads this, so let's just say I married and loved a guy who loved me at a size 14. Oh, shit... I married two men in my boring life. Shutting up now.)
As I drove past a "For Sale" sign yesterday, I saw this beaten down house. But on realtor's post was a bright red sign that read "I'm beautiful inside!" Shouldn't we all try to get past our exteriors and value what we all have within? It's a lofty concept, but if each of us start, one by one, perhaps we can be a revolution for our kids.
So on that note, I pledge to vent on this blog (hey, a gal's got to bitch) but to never, EVER, say in front of my daughter "I feel fat" or "Man, I look old."
My daughter looks at me with absolute love and adoration no matter how I'm feeling. How awesome would it be if she always looks at herself the same way?
On that note, I'm off to the Happiest Place on Earth tomorrow. Perhaps I shall wear some Minnie Mouse ears and strut the Magic Kingdom at a whopping 6'4. (Ooooh, that was a diss on my height. However, since Pip can't read yet, it doesn't matter. Besides, I'll make sure to show up at her sixth grade dance with them on my head to show off my confidence. I think she'll appreciate that.)
4 comments:
That was a great post. It's easy to forget that our daughters are always looking at us for a model of behavior and acceptance. This will help me to remember that. Thanks.
Hi there. Just started reading. I have a daughter too, who is now 15. I have tried hard not to criticise my size or height in front of her. It seems to have worked as she is a normal sized person and is just fine with it.
Mouse ears are the best. Be sure to take a picture.
I believe men are often as influential as girls. What you don't point out to them, they often don't notice. And if they do notice, God help them to be smart enough to keep quiet about it.
I love you Mama P., and I have always been jealous of your height.
xoxo Kate Dana
a.k.a. "Peanut"
Just found your blog.
Great post and oh so true.
I have two pre-teen daughters and having been in the modeling industry for years myself, I know how "UGLY" it can be. I have worked very hard on teaching the girls the importance of inner beauty.
They definitely get it.
Keep up the great blogging!
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