Today Pip, never one to conform to convention, decided that, in the middle of a crowded holiday toddler party, she "needed to go pooo nooooow." What's a mama to do but drop her pumpkin bread and haul booty to the "baby toilet" where Pip proceeds to hold the wall for support and squeeze out a number rivaling a Trader's Jo cheese log?
Moral of the story: sometimes, even when it is inconvenient, you must relieve your shit in a productive manner. Your life will be less smelly, your clothes will look fresher, and you won't be labeled as someone full of crap.
The Zen of Toilet Training. Look for it on the Best Smellers List next holiday season.
You know life is feeling better for me when I'm making poop analogies. Hope your day was flush with excitement, too. Oooh, I'm on a toilet roll.
Someone, make me stop. Get the plunger!
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7 comments:
LOL....you're so punny!
Soooo, I saw in your 5 wacky things about me post - comments, you mentioned being sure I had my own wacky stories....I'm seeking advice on my current 1/3rd life crisis/soap opera...meyerh at ci dot loveland dot co dot us. If not, totally ok - you have your hands full!
Glad you're feeling up. I didn't mean you were feeling someone up, I meant feeling better. Oh hang it. Poop analogies = funny = lifted spirits. Thanks.
Oh, thank you, I so needed a good laugh!
And thanks for sharing Robert Frost, I haven't read his work in a long time and it's my loss. Beautiful poem, beautiful feeling.
Ha! I was actually on a plane, recently, where the little boy announced that he had "to go" very loudly. Unfortunately, we were in line for take-off, so the fasten seat belt sign was very much on. So he became a broken record, getting louder and louder, saying, "But M-o-o-o-o-m! I have to p-o-o-o-o-o-o-p! P-O-O-O-P!" this went on for a couple minutes until he was practically screaming, and his mother finally goes, "Yes, honey. I KNOW you have to poop. The whole plane knows you have to poop. But you're just going to have to hold it for a little bit longer." There was much snickering for about 10 rows backwards and forwards.
I'm glad Pip is not blocked on this issue.
Thanks for the smiles and the puns from the buns.
I crap you negative, this is hilarious.
oxoxo
Mommyham - I'm always ready to give advice. In fact, I thought about posting it on Ebay for 10 bucks/pop - some downhome advice from a momma.
Maggie - yes, so much better. Positive attitude is crucial.
Pam - Glad I could make you laugh.
Princess - If I were on that plane I totally would have tried to help that poor mom.
Meno - No, Pip is hardly blocked.
KD - Talk about laughter - you kill me.
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