Monday, April 07, 2008

Taking a bite out of life

So tomorrow I am taking Stink for an EEG for his tics. I want to rule out epilepsy. I don't think it's absence seizures, but given that his bad eye rolls are a bit disconcerting when they happen (which luckily are less and less these days) I'm not taking any chances.

The good news is that since we've gone gluten free for good, I see some remarkable changes. He rarely tics like he used to. But... I'm scared to say this... it could be the cycle of the tic. What if after knocking my socks off they come back? Am I just kidding myself?
Or am I simply eating healthy so it's not a big deal? Other than I might be causing more stress with the constant "Yes, you can have a cookie, it's just sugar... but no food dyes... and that hotdog? Sure... but no bread."

What if I do all groundwork and it doesn't do a damn thing but make me the butt of some college story where he's like, "My mom used to drag in wheat free pizza to every Chuck E. Cheese party from the time I was 5. It suuuucked."

I'm holding my ground though. Do we walk around feeling sorry for the Jewish kid who can't have the cheese burger? No. He doesn't eat milk and cheese as part of his culture. It's accepted and we make adjustments. So Stink and the family will have to make adjustments to my crappy cooking, too!
What choice do I have? At least with the diet I feel like I'm controlling something.

Ha. Like I have control over anything anymore.

And now what I lack control of the most? My heart. It loves these kids so much I could cry from the emotional overload of it all. And guess what? Today I did.

But better now. Thanks, Mom.

* Photo of Stink eating gluten free corn spaghetti. Rex spent an hour on the sauce and made tons of extras. I told him that the kids wouldn't eat it and to make the pasta seperate. His response: "If I'm going to eat fake noodles, they can try my masterpiece." Clearly Stink hated it.

How are you all? I owe so many of you visits. Honestly, I'm in outerspace right now with too much going on. But I think of you often and will poke in soon. Make way! You can't escape!


Chris said...

I just got a referral from my son's pediatrician in regards to his tics to a pediatric neurologist to Los Angeles Children's Hospital to rule out, well, whatever neurologists rule out, I guess. LOL. I'm not sure what to expect. We'll see. Good luck to you and stink!

Monnik said...

yeah, it really looks like Stink hated that spaghetti. Too cute.

Hang in there... You'll get control again soon (or at least the illusion of it.)

Ramblin' Red said...


Could say so much more, as you know, but's still coming up short.

More than likely, Stink will recount that, "My mom did the best damned job she could to make my life full of love, fun, learning, tolerance, acceptance, (insert continuing ginormous laundry list of GOOD characteristics here), and she did it riddled with pop culture references and poop jokes - how cool is that?"

Maggie said...

Hang in there Mama. You're awesome. And if nothing else, you guys are eating superbly healthy. But I think it's not for nothing. I think you rock and I understand your heart ache. That's the love that counts though.

amisare waswerebeen said...

Good luck and prayers are coming your way. It is hard to not feel in control, but I think you're doing some great things. And don't worry about us feeling neglected, we're tougher than you think.

momma's heart said...

I am not a very good cook as I married late in life and didn't get enough practice. Now, I wish I had the time to put into it, but with three kids six and under, I'm lucky if I can manage the microwave without them getting into trouble (husbands works second shift). For now, I tell myself that the best cooks are usually overweight, with overweight families. They usually choose tasty ingredients over healthy ones, so in the long run, we're better off. Right?

You are doing a great job with your kids and they will remember your efforts and humor with great fondness.

TroyBoy said...

Great pic! Best of luck on the results!

Dapoppins said...

Okay, wait, did you have control over stuff before...cause if you did I missed it. And i want to know how you managed it cause I never have any control over anything.

And even if the pasta was funky, that sauce looks yummy.

how were the tests for the tics?

liv said...

love you, girl. please update us with how things went. xoxo

His Girl said...

this picture makes me sooooo happy.

all the way happy!

*out of commission these days- so tired... will catch up soon!*

pinks & blues girls said...

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who could go through life without any depth... never having to carry the burden that sometimes comes with loving so, so deeply and having empathy for the ones you love. You know? Sigh.

I'm so glad things with the diet are going well, and I hope the success continues!

Jane, Pinks & Blues

Terri said...

Hope you get some answers with the further testing. Glad the gluten free diet is doing him good. It must be hard checking everything,though. I suppose, it will get to be routine afterwhile and not so big a deal...still
God bless!

Misses E. said...

Thanks for the comment.

Gluten allergies and neurological hiccups and ticks are both tricky things to nail down. Hubby has seizures due to childhood brain trauma, and we have friends with gluten allergies. Both have such a wide range of symptoms and triggers, and worrisome and annoying as it is, all you can do sometimes is try this and that until you find something that works.

Don't worry about it. You're doing what's best for your family. Sure the young 'ens may cut up about it now and again, but that's just the way people are. The toughest subjects are so much easier to cope with through humor sometimes, and the odd teenage comment about the "embarrassing" things mom did isn't going to mean they don't deeply appreciate everything you're doing for them.

Good luck with the EEG results. I know waiting for them can be a pain.

Susie Q said...

You are one of the best is tough out there but it looks as if Stink is really being punished with that dinner. Uh huh....


Pam said...

You already know how I feel about healthy eating, stick to it! It may or may not affect your son's condition (I personally think it would probably help and certainly couldn't hurt) but in the long run you will all benefit. The phrase "you are what you eat" carries a lot of merit. It is usually later on that you reap the benefits or pay the price.

I love the picture, there's nothing like kids and tomato sauce!

ms chica said...

That picture reminds me I don't enjoy pasta nearly as much as I should.

Share if you get any news, kay?

Gretchen said...

We all have something, Mama P. Stink may just have the advantage of knowing what "his something" is. That's what i tell my son, anyway. We're hopefully going to find some answers at a May 6th appt, and pray that you will find yours, too. Mostly, I pray peace and gratitude over us all. I wouldn't change a thing.

Hugs and more hugs. And Diet Coke. xxxooogretchen

Kaytee said...

Hey... You left a comment on my blog.. I found Ellie's blog through yours on babycenter... but now i cant find either... help? please?

Jill said...

Well, I could say, as my therapist said to me yesterday, "I see this as an opportunity for growth," but then you'd probably have the same reaction I did, which was to roll my eyes and say, "Are we at the office? Where a problem isn't a problem but a challenge, and a challenge is nothing more than an unrealized opportunity?" Just say it like it is, please. It's fucking hard! And it looks like you're doing an amazing job, Andrea.

Elaine said...

Kudos to you and your family for all the special cooking. I feel blessed to be able to eat anything, but wonder if maybe all of us could benefit from diet restrictions. Do you ever wonder just what we're doing to our bodies?
Chin up, girl!