Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Pretty as a Picture

One really learns a lot about their moods by their initial reactions to scenery.

Take the photo above, taken in the hotel, Paris, a few weekends ago in Vegas. What was the first thing you thought? "Wow, how beautiful. I could totally relax there." Or, "Man, that is tacky. Check out the elevator. If I had a dollar for every hundred bucks that was spent on that effigy to consumerism..."

As for me, my thoughts go something like this:

"Wow. I need to get to Paris one day. I know I'd dig all the art work. Though I could do without seeing the Mona Lisa. She just looks cranky.

Which I've been today.

But no one is cranky in Paris! It's the city of love! Of cafes and bread! And lots of wine where I can drink too much and pass out in a tiny overpriced hotel room, my six one frame sticking out over the munchkin sized mattress.

No. Stay positive. You will NOT drink too much or over eat. You will be a beacon of grace. A shining example of American women.

I just hope I don't vomit in the Louvre. Or have a panic attack on the run way. I'm not a great traveler. But I AM a great planner. With lots of intention.

Yes, I will go. Because unlike the staircase in the photo, life is super short. I want my kids to see the world, and it's not going to happen by sitting on my butt my whole life. Speaking of stairs, man, those could really firm up my ass.

Yes. I'll go to Paris, put on my Nike thrift store running pants, and jog up the Eiffel tower each morning. Of course I don't jog now, but that's not the point. When I'm done with my workout, I'll sip coffee at a roadside cafe.

If I haven't given it up by then.

But I HAVE been 6 days without Diet Coke. Hooray for me! Or shall I say, "Hooray for moi!"

Wow, it's amazing how much beauty can be found if I just look for it. It's so clean in the Paris hotel. Clean, clean, clean!

Unlike my house.

And speaking of the French, and getting clean, I need to shave my arm pits.

Wow, was that racist? Or was it a fact? Because the French have been known not to be on intimate terms with razors."

Nothing like a quiet mind, huh?


Jenster said...

We're thinking of going to Scotland for our family vacation next year. I'd love to go to France, but my daughter (13) is taking French in school right now for when she goes to Chef school in Paris after college. So I'll wait until she lives there and she can speak for me since my French is pretty limited to things like "Voulez vous coucher avec moi" and "Bon jour, mon petit chou." My daughter used to like it when I said the latter to her until she found out I was calling her a little cabbage.

I'll be pretty ticked if she decides not to go. Surely she wouldn't get my hopes up of European travel on the cheap side, only to dash them nine years later.

One more thing - the husband and myself are in a monthly wine club. So far of all the wines we've tried, the French wines have been our least favorite. Unless it's the last wine of the evening. Then gasoline probalby tastes great.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Gretchen said...

I would go out on a limb and say that shaving your armpits is not racist. :O)

Dapoppins said...

six days without a diet coke? What, are you freaking nutts! How, why???
I only give up diet coke when I am
pregnate. And since I won't be ever again, that means all the more for me, right? PS...I thought the pic was cool. What does that say about me?

James said...

An unquiet mind. There's a book by that title that M recommended to me after reading it in prep for her own first novel.

Kay Redfield-Jameson (or maybe it's Jameson-Redfield) is the author.