Saturday, December 22, 2007

Oh Christmas Three, Oh Christmas Three...

It's true what they say. It comes in threes, such as:

1. Death. Bless the Soul of my Aunt Joan, my cousin's Aunt Edie, and Dan Folkelberg. I'm not saying they all have to be related to us, just saying it happens. And seriously, this is selfish, because all of them mean something to someone, but Aunt Joan is the one I miss. Another post is warranted for sure on this great lady who never failed to send me a birthday card with five dollars, a hand painted portrait or a just a funny story about the time she peed like a race horse on the highway during her trip across country. She was 80 at the time. My cousins took photos of the damage on the desert sand. We're all real classy that way.

2. Wisemen. I have to say, though, if I'd have just given birth in a barn, and three men came in with with more jewlery on than me, I'd be pretty darn mad. And how much you want to make a bet that if that happened today, Joseph would drag at least one of the men into the home office to check out the new DSL cable?

3. Days before Christmas. THREE DAYS.

How are you all doing on that? I was doing pretty well until today, 'round 11:15. My father-in-law came by unnannounced with a gift for my husband. And I'm glad he did. He's welcome anytime. But let's just say there were pots in the living room where Rex and I were figuring out our traditional Italian Christmas soup, laundry on the stairs, cars all over the tv room and dishes in, on and around the sink. I started to scurry to tidy the magazines while he used the bathroom (which I can't promise fared much better than the kitchen) and my husband just looked at me, with two words, "Why bother?" He was right. I sat back in defeat and alternated between sipping cold coffee, reading Clifford the Firetruck Dog to Stink, and watching Pip "Stop! Drop! & Roll!" like a drunk on a bender.

Then I had to get the back lawn toys up for my husband to mow. Because it's Saturday. And he mows. Every Saturday. And I have to do my part to keep our lawns looking like Dublin Ireland. It's a nice fake-out for when people come into the house and it looks like the inside of a tent city.

After FIL left, I did the laundry and decided that the load of ironing that was supposed to be done for Christmas Eve would last a few days more. Matching plaid pajamas instead for the kids? It's not their finest fare, but it's pretty darn cute, so be it!

In trying to get out the door to pick up my Christmas cards at Costco, Stink insisted on walking right into the sprinklers. So now I'm facing a potentially sick kid AND late Christmas cards. Joy to the World!

The only thing Rex wanted was the ingredients for his soup. While dragging two children around traffic more crazy than the media about Jamie Lynn Spear's pregancy (Poor girl - leave her alone!) I did the dry clean run, the warehouse shopping, the card pick-up and the groceries for the rest of the week. The ingredients for the soup? Not so much.

I was going to get Scooby wrapping paper for Stink and Strawberry Shortcake for Pip. I had grand visions of wrapping them with vintage ribbons in front of my fire, glass of wine in my hand, dog at my feet. I don't have a dog, but it didn't stop me from dreaming. Instead, I wrapped their gifts while the kids bathed a few feet away. I used the Same. Paper. I. Use. Every. Year. Snowflakes for Pip, the reverse side of a winter wonderland for Stink. (I'm hoping most of you readers know that Santa doesn't exist. If not, I give you Reality for 500! My gift to you this year!)

It's 7:15. I'm off to the store now for soup base. Am I stressed? Not really. I've had a super holiday this year. I wish I'd done a bit more baking. I wish I had my family photos up, or a family video done. I really wish I understood my husband's love for this game he's playing beside me, "Command & Conquer." But... I have food on my table, people in my home in lieu of new photos, a husband that's cooking the Christmas Eve feast and a life's motto of Comand and Conquer, so it's not so shabby.

We are lucky to have so much. As always, thanks for the gift of you, lovely readers!

* Taken a few days ago. Why am I the only one ecstatic to be with my kids? If this is how they feel now, what's it going to be like when they're teenagers? Scowls of death? Hooded masks? Rotten kids.
PSS: I'm hoping next year to replace the 1980's coffee stained mini-blinds with those tissue style folded doo-hickeys that look like roman shades. You know what I'm talking about? Good. Otherwise, I'll be the one scowling next year.
More of my writing can be found on I write under the name Andrea Frazer and can be found in the Momformation Section.


Steph said...

This post, and your kitchen photo, make me feel normal. I have a post-deadline hangover and have had a hard time willing myself to get the Christmas thing finished. (So why the HELL am I still awake?)

"Next year I'll start earlier." Hahahahahahahaha. How many times have I/we said that? Getting there, though. Hope you have a really great Christmas!

liv said...

I love that photo of you, A. You look just beautiful. So many of my gals are looking fab in their holiday shots--and you know that's hard to pull off. I am hoping to get out New Year's cards....Christmas just didn't happen for this year.

patches said...

Pictures? Cards, Bleh!

House full of loving family, you have your priorities in order, mind being my new role model?

Liza's Eyeview said...

Oh MamaP, I just love visiting your blog - I can relate in so many ways.

I have a very long list of things to do including the laundry, etc. We have invited some (a lot for me) friends over for Christmas and I need to neaten up the house. Oh well, something's gotta give -I think I'm throwing all the clutter in our masterbedroom and will post a sign on the door: Enter at your own risk!

Merry Christmas MamaP and family. Looking forward to more blogging girlfriend-time with you in 2008!

Liza's Eyeview said...

I just came from your Malformation section blog - It's great! Sorry I didn't leave a comment there today, I just read and realized I really need to log off for now (the clock just reminded me). I just had to come hear before I log out to say your writings there are wonderful! love it!

jenny gardiner said...

Hi! I linked you from our blog --thanks for stopping by for a visit, by the way. I totally cracked up at the picture of your kitchen. Did you just die? It reminds me of that picture that gets around the internet of the kids who got into the paint and painted the sofa, the baby, etc...
I also laughed at your link "I Hate My Husband and so do 50 Other Women"--you should totally check out my upcoming novel, Sleeping with Ward Cleaver--it will so appeal to anyone whose had those moments of despair over a clueless reviewer called it the "Bridget Jones Diary for us married and harried moms" ;-) . I like to think it helps all those moms/wives out there to realize they're not alone!
Have a great holiday!

hamiam said...

I feel ya babe...

I was so up to my ears this season with work and school, that the holiday stuff just did not get done. In fact, I'll have a story up about that shortly at my place.

Also, you and your children are gorgeous and adorable, respectively! I never have seen the sibling resemblance in the two until this pic - they are definitely related!

And...check your yahoo mail. I finally got around to answering your question. pull up a mug of something good, kleenex, and let the love embrace you, hon. It's long.

Love ya!

Pam said...

Okay, this sounds like normal pre-Christmas stuff, you're right on track, Mama P. Appreciating the people who count in your life is the most important thing, maintaining a sense of humor is the next one.

About the picture of you and your children, I love it. You look beautiful and if they don't look ecstatic, at lease they look accepting and cute as hell.

Have a lovely Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with your family.

Valerie said...

and my Christmas cards are STILL sitting on my desk. unmailed.

Gretchen said...

Okay, so i'm visiting your blog on Christmas night. I hope you had a lovely day despite the "to dos". I know I did. I'm still in my pajamas. :)We did absolutely nothing after the requisite 6:30 a.m. gift opening spree. Even had take and bake pizza for our feast. MIL and FIL fly in on Thur, so I'll have to mind myself then, but for now...bliss.

Thank you soooo much for my pkg! Real thank u to follow. :)

Merry Christmas dear friend.

Susie Q said...

No matter what I always find a smile and a laugh while visting you dear A.
You are the most sane person I know. Your priorities are SO right on and you do that with your sense of humor and fully intact.
You are a hero to me...

LOVE the picture. 3 gorgeous people.
Love to you all.