Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Caution, Kids Driving

I think the Valley can best be summed up in one visit to my local carwash. No ordinary hose and vacuum joint, "Cruisers Car Wash" also boasts a diner, a chicken rotisserie, a play area for the kids (including miniature castle and token rides) and massage chairs.

I hate that everything has to be so big. So plastic. So lit up and advertised. Even their cashier station boasts everything from air fresheners to porcelin bird houses to "Sorry About Your Divorce" cards.

Question: What happened to the good old days of moms and dads not working so hard that they're not too tired to wash the car with the kids on Saturday? What happened to walking so much that you don't really need a car? What happened to spending so much time outside in fresh air that you don't need 99 cent air fresheners?

Answer: This Auto-topia washes my car for $5.99, making it so sterile I could give birth in the trunk. The car ride costs only a quarter, not the traditional fifty cents, and it rocks and rolls my kids for 3 minutes at a pop (that's 3 minutes of unterrupted reading for me - might as well call it eternity) Nick and Sophie will play for hours in the plastic castle, stopping only to rub their faces (to insure a bout of pink eye) and run outside to see the train zoom by on the tracks just outside the waiting area/benches/advertisement board.

I am one happy sailor at Cruisers.

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