Saturday, June 23, 2007
My New Suit
I've been trying on a new suit these days. I'm not saying I'm perfect at it, but I'm inching toward peace... along with a few extra inches that I aim to trim up with healthy exercise. But rather than looking at my behind... errr... behind me... I'm looking forward at all I have in my future.
Perhaps some of you are ready for some new suits. Perhaps you're tired of hanging out on the cement of life, bundled up in comfort clothes, because taking a risk is too scary.
As for me, I'm sick of the crap I am seeing on tv. I am sick of how women are killing themselves to be a size sub zero. I'm sick of men sticking us on covers of magazines looking like prostitutes. I wonder how I'm going to raise my daughter to be a strong woman when our media tells us to waste away if we're to be loved.
And so, here I am. In all of my 6'1 glory - in a fabulous suit! (Thanks Mama P Light! If anyone needs a designer swim suit for 10.00, let me know and I'll point you toward her Ebay store.) Let me tell you what else I love while I'm at it.
- I love that as time passes, I'm getting more and more comfortable in my own skin (even if that skin has a few left over zits. Clearly I'm still a teenager!)
- I love that I'm caring less if someone else doesn't like what I have to say (or look like.)
- I love that when my kids go into a pool at a party, I'm right there with them, jumping and splashing (and let me tell you - at 180 pounds... I make quite the psunami. I prefer "psumommy".)
- I love that I have curves where I'm supposed to have curves because that means I'm not afraid to eat.
- I love that a very cute 23 year old man flirted with me at the post office the other day and I could laugh about it with my husband.
- I love that there's less of me then before I had kids, and while I hope for an additional 5 pounds off, I like myself just fine now.
- I love that I have a man who is sitting adjacent to me now, typing away at his computer game, who wouldn't care if I looked good in this suit or not.
- I love that this man is a father who nurtures my kids whole heartedly and takes his role more seriously than I ever imagined a Star Trek Voyager could.
- I love that at the end of the day, I'm realizing that the spirit within me is worth more than any money, perfect figure or fulfilled fantasy of what it means to be a woman.
I love that all of you read me and inspire me by your kind words and encouragement. (But you know what I love even more? This blogging has helped me define what I need most in my life... so even if you didn't approve, I could live with that, too. But since I just took a big risk by putting myself in a bathing suit for the whole world to see, feel free to say something nice.)