Monday, July 23, 2007
The Greatest Show On Earth
3 free tickets to the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus this past Saturday turned into $20 to park, $20 in gas and $24 for snow cones.
TWO snow cones.
As in $12 each.
Yes, it's true. Mama P fought the bling-bling of the greatest show on earth and she lost. I might as well have gone in the center ring, the animal tamer directing me with a baton: "You will leave your natural habitat of the thrift store jungle, roll on your back, and cough up cash. Your children, like the audience, will applaud you and love you!
For exactly one minute.
Then move the hell over, because it's time for the great 'Let's spill the snow cone ice act of 2007 and scream our way through the Vietnamese tumbling lotus dancers.' "
Rule #1 of Thrifting: Trust your instinct and don't buy when it doesn't feel right.
Rule #2: Leave before you lose complete control - as in the second half of an event. At least if you miss the "Elephants That Yodel and Fart in time to the Star Spangled Banner" you can exit the Staples Center in peace, despite children screaming that they wish you had bought them cotton candy instead.
Because $10 for sugar on a stick is so much cheaper.
Me: "You will eat what is left of your sugar laden ice rip-off and like it. You will not even brush your teeth. You will get cavities with holes the size of the OJ's excuses and rue the day you begged me for 24 bucks worth of animal abuse ice-cream."
What a circus.