Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I Am Turned Off

I have turned into one of those mothers who limits my children's TV viewing to one half hour show per day. *** (clause at bottom)

I put Stink on a timer when he plays computer games. I've even been known to shriek "It's a beautiful day outside! Go play in the sprinklers! Don't get abducted while I run into the house for coffee!"

It's an odd thing in my household, but when the overall volume is turned down, our personal energy is tuned up.

Take today, for example. Despite watching one friend's child in the morning, then watching another's this evening (I'm no martyr... it's called "Babysitting Trade for 400") there was nary a time out, nary a screaming fest and nary a, "He touched my booger!" melt down.

We even managed to eat some homemade granola bars that I made at my childhood friend's house yesterday while Stink was at school and Pip subconciously wondered why my friend's child had every Bratz doll in the universe and her collection includes, but is not limited to, the "It's Not Cheesey Platform Shoes It's Vintage Shops at A Co-Op" Barbie.

How I went from writing TV to policing it I'll never know. And while one day my kids will buy me a tee shirt (From a strip mall, God forbid) reading "Older Than Dirt", today was a run through the sprinklers, play some Disney music, eat crisp apples and dip our fingers in peanut butter kind of Valley Day. I might not get residuals for it, but hopefully the memories will pay off.

*** PMS Clause: Should I be suffering hormonly, be ill, or just plain want to fall into a coma due to query rejection, behavior issues or plain laziness worthy of bon bons and vats of Diet Coke, I reserve the right to stick my children on DVDs for hours on end, until they pass out, or I get my next article. Could be years. Hey, they'll just have to be film majors in college.


hamiam said...

LOL - LOVE the PMS clause.

Hugs and prayers for luck to come on the queries.

Gretchen said...

Well, you know, there WAS life before Dora, The Suite Life, Hannah Montana, Blue's Clues, and my personal fave: General Hospital. People had to make their own fun. The result of this cruelty? Less obesity. More reading. More kick the can and sandlot games. Less "I'm bored" because they weren't expecting Mommy or the TV to entertain them.

It's definitely hard to be a TV Nazi, er...responsible video entertainment consumer, but I do think you're on to something. Even if you DO reserve the right for one week of PMS ultra-viewing, I think that's cool, too. It's called balance. :) You GO, girl! I'm down to 2 total hours of video entertainment for my kids (TV, computer, game cube--30 min increment tickets), which sounds like a lot, but hey, I need my blogging time. :)

Em said...

Ya know, we used to have timers for computer, Nintendo, TV. But they never went outside. They just used the rest of their time to drive us insane.

Pam said...

Bless you, Mama P, for being one of the mothers who knows that there is life outside of television, movies and computer games. Dashes through sprinklers, the circus and even $20 snowcones will, one day, be cherished memories, and your children will be ever grateful for the time you spent with them.

PMS days do not count!

Cheryl Wray said...

Those are the BEST kind of days!! And ones I need to do more often!!!
The PMS clause is classic!!! lol

Dapoppins said...

Every mom must have a PMS clause!

liv said...

You're just too good to be true. Aack. Bratz dolls? Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is extremely full!

James said...

What have you got against film majors? J/K. The PMS clause can also be extended to include "Sick day" and "rainy day" rules.

And, yer right. the run through the sprinklers will pay off in the long run. Don't be so hard on yourself for letting the kids watch/play a little infotainment. M suffers with this all the time. But, we're in texas so we have a little bit of an excuse--tremendous heat or torrential rains (not that the Valley doesn't).


Mama P said...

Ham - Do you have to sensor due to, well, sensory issues with LMNOB?

Gretchen - I hear you on the blogging time deal. It's my sanity, too.

Em - You are so right as usual. My kind of dry humor.

Pam - I so wish we lived next door to each other. You'd hate my kids more than you think you would.

Cheryl - I've seen your photos. I know you get this kind of lazy day fun.

Dapoppins - I have enjoyed having you here!

Liv - Of course I'm too good to be true. I am just a liar who doesn't really exist but to amuse toddlers.

James - Ah, you are the best ex-husband a girl could ever ask for. Hey, I can't comment on your LiveJournal. Was' up with dat?

Susie Q said...

How about poor me? I have the menopause clause...I use it on the 9 year old all the time. I have the 25 year old still underfoot half the time, the 9 year old and one messy husband who never remembers what I have asked him to do for me. He is cute though. The 9 year old has turned into a Nazi fashionista who thinks it is sweet to criticize Mom's wardrobe choice of sweats and slippers. Hmpf.
I NEED Hot Flash clause. I NEED it!
God help me. And if I hear another
Hannah Montana song or hear about the new High School Musical (August 17th premiere only on The Disney Channel!) I will scream!!!

Okay, I feel better now.

You DID make me are one funny babe.


shauna said...

I've been considering unplugging our family. In fact, I took the TV away for about 2 days and while it was hard to keep them away, the general atmosphere did improve (and they get more exercise). So I think you're on to something...