Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Stairing Me Down

This week Stinker has earned his namesake ten-fold. As far as Princess Pipsqueak, let's just say that Dora had better find a map with an all expense paid spa for Mommy or Mommy's going to sell Boots the Monkey to the circus. (Or at least to a casting director so he can live out his last days as the famous chimp starring in Clint Eastwood's next production of "Every Which Way but The Nursing Home").

With this in mind, I bring you today's "stranger post". While at Costco, explaining to the kids "that bacteria we lick from grocery carts differ from the bacteria in Kirkland yogurt", an old man approached my cart with a smile.

I asked how he was.

He told me the kids were adorable.

I told him that they could be his for a song and a dance. (More expensive than the peanuts, but cheaper than the patio furniture.)

He must have thought I asked him about "dancing" because he launched into a story about the war and cutting a mean two-step. He then chuckled at the kids' poking contest and mumbled something about "been there, done that, never again in hell" and ambled off.

I couldn't help but notice that one eye was sealed shut. He had a limp. Yet he was still friendly, courteous and retained more vigor than me - a person half his age. I made a committment to myself that if this geezer could manage a warehouse at 91, I could manage two kids.

One loooong car ride home (replete with screaming fits over who gets to touch the receipt, an impending fist fight over a month old Skittle, and a rowdy argument about Scooby vs. Cinderella's belching capabilities) I decided that the stairs could do a much better job than I could.

Clearly my kids agreed with me.


ellie bee said...

When my oldest 2 would fight, I would make them sit on the stairs and HOLD HANDS until they could get along. They tell me now that is was one of the most brilliantly wicked disciplines I ever came up with, and many a fight was "kept quiet" so they wouldn't have to hold hands! (of course, they still fought, but I was out of the loop!)

hamiam said...

Oh, honey - I feel you on this one! That look from Pip is to DIE for, lol. One to display at her 16th b'day, HS grad, etc...

The manager - I love that kind of elderly, you know? Makes me fall in love with humankind again.

Michelle said...

Thanks for your comment on my "mommy talk" post! I think that is one of the hardest things with becoming a mom - finding that balance! Making the decision to stay home or not...and not matter which decision you make you still feel guilty wondering if you made the right one!

What a great picture ...they look so thrilled to be having their picture taken :)

Dapoppins said...

If they are alive at the end of the day, you done good! But shopping with the kids=not my favorite thing.

meno said...

Oh the look on your girl child's face could stun an elephant!

Pam said...

Payback=showing them this photo when they are in their teens!

Gretchen said...

Too cute! Yes, my children know the bottom of the stairs all too well. And, as they've gotten older, they go to their rooms. I really don't care if the time out in their rooms is a punishment for them. It gives me the chance to have a glass of...er...to collect myself and start again.