Monday, June 16, 2008

So Long, Farewell...

I'm going on vacation! Yeah! I'm leaving on Monday for almost a full week. I will be without cell phone, computer, DVD player or telephone. That's elating, and terrifying, all at once.

This past week just about did me in, what with shopping, car cleaning, errands, end of school activities, shots for kindergarten, going away parties... on and on.

My poor Stink... I took him in on Thursday for his final immunizations. On Saturday I took him to get his TB shot marks tested (he's fine) but the nurse found his arm all swollen from his other shots.

I felt like the worst mom ever, because I hadn't really noticed it. I thought all arms swelled up like piping hot balloons after being stabbed by sharp needles..

I was doing okay with this change of plans until one doctor came in and looked at his puffy shoulder with dismay. Then he asked another doctor to come in for a second opinion.

Then they both went outside to "confer." All the blood in my body drained at that moment. I went to a deep, dark place that no mother should ever go to..

When the original doc came back in with news of a new shot of antibiotics for the infection, plus medicine, I burst into tears. "It's not something else, right? I mean, that's not why you called in the second doctor... because there's a reason he hasn't healed as quickly as he should have?"

He looked at me like I had just belched the Ave Maria and said, "If you want to think something dramatic, that's your call. But I'm telling you on the surface what it is: An infection."

I can only hope that my firecracker Pip becomes a doctor one day. I pray that she'll get that man as a patient. And when he jumps to conclusions because maybe, six months earlier, his wife had been diagnosed with something, and he doesn't take things for granted any more, and he's freaking out over some dick rash he got for sctupping a hooker, and thinks he's going to die a terrible death, Pip looks at him and gives him the same words back, "If you want to think something dramatic, that's your call. But I'm telling you on the surface what it is: an infection." .

And when he breathes a sigh of relief, I hope she'll add, "Sadly, we're all out of antibiotics. YOU'RE GONNA DIE." .

* Photo of one of my best friends, Topanga T, with Stink at the beach. She is getting married on Wednesday in Italy to the most darling 24 year old man on the planet. I've known her since I've been 4. That was 33 years ago. You do the math.

I'm so happy for her. She has always loved my kids like they were her own, and never once... not once... made me feel like I'm somehow contributing less to society because my priorities are more home based. She is a true sister who I adore. Everyone, please wish her good luck, pray, spit in water fountains... whatever it is you do to spread well wishes!


Em said...

Doctors can be such idiots.

Enjoy your vacation!!!

His Girl said...

what a QUACK!
this made me giggle:
And when he breathes a sigh of relief, I hope she'll add, "Sadly, we're all out of antibiotics. YOU'RE GONNA DIE."

I'm so glad you have such a great friend in Topanga- may her marriage be filled with love, Light, and laughter!

as for your vay-cay... come home soon!!!

patches said...

Have a good trip, get some rest, and quit thinking about the childless buffoon who diagnosed Stink. Should he having offspring of his, he might understand, one day.

sari said...

I hope your vacation is good. Your friend is wonderful.

Are you looking for a new doctor?? Sometimes they're such schmucks.

Valerie said...

everyone needs a Topanga in their life. lucky you that you've got yours!

have a great vacation and don't worry, i'm sticking pins in the groin area of the doctor voodoo doll i just made.

God's Guitar Girl said...

That's an awesome picture.

And what a jackass!! I like your vengeful scenario. Doctors and nurses might have a different perspective if they received the kind of care they give a couple of times in life.

Ashley said...

Oh good - does this mean you really get to go on your vacation despite Stink's arm? I can't believe that doctor gave you so much attitude. So much for bedside manner.

Steph said...

Oh, Mama P, I've been down that crummy doctor road:

It was good times. Fer shur.

But you - YOU have a marvellous vacation! :)

Gretchen said...

Blessings to TT.

I'm with em.

Enjoy your time away. I'm so for you. :)


Ramblin' Red said...

I am so loving your revenge fantasy. What a jerk.

Have a glorious time on vacation, and happy blessings for Topanga T....

momma's heart said...

I once asked a ped. if I still needed to feed my baby rice cereal. He was my first baby, and I didn't know how long he needed the extra iron in baby cereal. The doctor said, "I don't care if you feed him frosted flakes." What a jerk! He was one of the best doctors in our area, but I dropped him like a hot potato after that arrogant remark.

Enjoy your vacation, Lovely Mama!

Pam said...

I am in the process of catching up and, as usual, find this to be one of my favorite spots.

I have met some of those shit doctors, and I hope they'll get their just desserts.

Have a great time!

JCK said...

Spreading good cheer from here!

Have a great vacation. And when you get will be countdown to BlogHer!