Friday, November 30, 2007

I Cannot Tell A Lie

It wasn't one of Stink's better behavior days. For the second time in 72 hours, he fibbed. Nothing major, but you know what? It pisses me off. I mean, the whole point about not spanking this child is because studies after studies show that kids who are spanked tend to lie more to get out of being punished. Serves me right for going soft.

HOWEVER... I'm holding my ground on my anti-spank stand. (And thank you all for your thoughts on spanking. I appreciated them all.) But what about lying? I hear that fibbing is common in 5 year olds. Is this true? What are your experiences? And how did you handle it?

As for how I handled it, it was straight to his room where he got to write out the word "LIE" 50 times, front and back. Took him about an hour, but boy did he practice those writing skills. When I asked him how it felt, he responded, "I am sooooo tired. My hand is not happy. I need a hug." And that, my friends, was the truth.

Little brat.


His Girl said...

First, thanks so much for your all the way wonderful fun comments on my blog. Total highlight to my day. Yes, I'm a SoCal girl too, but don't worry, we're not close enough for stalking. Think Inland Empire. Any travel that involves the 91 works better than a restraining order. haha

Alright, lying. I believe my son was about 5 when he started being a bigfatliar. We adopted a zero tolerance for lying policy in our home, and so when he lied, he would go to his room for the night, not even coming out for dinner. We brought him bread and water up there and everything. We only had to do it twice.

But the thing that cured him pretty much once and for all is that one time we found a big old mess that we thought he made. We called him on it and he denied it. It slowly became obvious to us that he hadn't done it, but we punished him anyway(made him clean it up). We told him that the worst consequence of lying is that nobody believes a liar. It was a bit of tough love, but it really worked. Experiencing what life is like for a person that nobody trusts made a truth teller out of him....

until puberty hit. ugh.

I like the consequence you came up with. It's pretty creative and it fits the crime. That's seems to work the best for me!

Blessings to you, for the laugh and for the honesty. I hope you find the perfect strategy. Too bad the aren't "one size fits all" ... each kid seems to learn things their own way.

Long comment. Hope you'll forgive my wordiness. Time for me to shush.

Monnik said...

I love your consequences. I think it's interesting how different each kid can be. I have one who is comfortable lying and one who very rarely lies.

Lying makes me crazy too. Even if it's a tiny fib, it really makes me mad...

hamiam said...

Though I'm of the "spank if needed" ilk, I use the writing exercises too...Especially for LMNOB, who seems to make a serious connection with simultaneous repetition, kinesthetic/tactile work, and reading...not to mention it keeps them quiet for a long time.

The lying did come about age 5 with her - and it only gets more annoying (like, not even trying lying, and man, if you are gonna lie to me, do it well) and contrived when there is a sibling nearing the lying zone.

They say it is common, and "normal," but rarely have common and normal been acceptable to me, so off to their beds when they lie.

Valerie said...

even though i don't have kids, i think you're being creative in your punishment...if it's possible to be creative WHILE punishing.

just to hear his response (in a sad little voice, no doubt!) makes me smile. he'll remember that for a while.

Gretchen said...

I think you did a fine job.

Lying curls my hair because my mom, God rest her, was a compulsive liar. So, my kids know it's zero tolerance. I think since I've been so ubernasty about it, they haven't dared, too much. Usually, the "I can't trust you any more" lecture brings on enough guilt and tears to stop the offender. Of course, we haven't hit the teen years, yet. Then, I suppose it's anyone's guess. Oh, I also tell them that God can see their hearts and their behaviors, not to use Him as a tool, but just because I think it's a good reminder for all of us that we never really do anything w/o it being seen. Great post.

Pam said...

I think you handled it well. I have zero tolerance for lying also, but all kids lie at one point or another. They try it out when they're young and often regress during teenhood.

It's been my experience that some of the lies told when they are teenagers never come to light until your children are in their thirties.