Monday, November 05, 2007

Stop the Presses!

I am so glad I am not allowing my children to play with guns, watch violence on tv, talk about hate or use the word kill. Just look at how peacefully they play?

On the note of having your limbs torn apart, I was asked to send in a photo for a new gig I'm starting soon. I feel like I should be hush hush about this job since I don't want to jinx it.

But I'm not good at secrets.

So I'll tell you. It's a column for Good Housekeeping! A blog to be exact, but it's premiering in the magazine in January. But to really not jinx it, I won't tell you the theme.

Okay, you twisted my arm. It's on Sex and Marriage. Rex is beyond thrilled. But probably not as thrilled as his family will be who tend to be more on the private side. As in tasteful. As in properly proper. Opposed to their brother's/son's/grandson's wife who puts everything out for the world on display. Kind of like a salami hanging in a deli window. (It's references to salami that got me this blog, so let's not knock the simili, shall we?)

So back to the bio. They wanted a photo. I turned in what I thought was a pretty decent pic. My writing partner from my tv days - forever the diplomat - had this to say:


I fixed your picture as best I could. I suggest you use another one for publicity. This one does not do you justice. The lighting is horrific. The color of your sweater makes the rest of you look pasty. You need better make up. Pencil in your eyebrows. Use more mascara. Get rid of the wrinkles. Use better and more lipstick and have someone pose you. Otherwise I loved the picture.

I could get mad, but I laughed. I mean, if a good friend can't tell you the truth, who can?

So, $200.00 later from a paycheck I have yet to receive, I have a lovely new set of makeup. Wednesday I'm off to the Picture People for a portrait. Friday I'm getting my red-hair re-installed - at my old salon no less - as a celebration of my old funk. I'll be broke, but cute once again.

Happy Monday! What are you all doing nice for yourselves this week? Are you having lots of sex? Do tell. It's not like you'd end up in a national magazine or anything. Ahemmmm.......
More of my writing can be found on I write under the name Andrea Frazer and can be found in the Momformation Section.


meno said...

Get rid of the wrinkles? Um, with an iron? Sorry, they come with the territory.

Pam said...

Congrats on the gig, Mama P. sex and marriage, huh? I wonder if they want to know about old folks. =D

I hope we get to see your portrait!

Cheryl Wray said...

WOW!!!! Congrats on the gig from GH. I do a lot of magazine writing, but mostly for local, regional, and niche national magazines. Writing for GH would be a dream job!!! Good for you!!!

And LOVE that pic!!! We have one Ken doll who has no legs, but Sydney is determined that's how he's supposed to be. (We're all about female domination around here!)

hamiam said...

LOL at the doll - naked and maimed, that's how all our dolls are found at casa del Meyer...something to do with childhood curiosity.

And C~o~N~g~R~a~T~u~L~a~T~i~O~n~S!!! That is super cool (said with a French accent, circa sophomore year in high school - we thought it was so funny, this little slang term) - and I am so excited to see "Sex and the City" meets a married, zany, and master of words mama.

liv said...

Yes, I will be sure to share with you the lurid details of all the sex I'm NOT having. It will make for a super duper column!

amisare waswerebeen said...

Congrats. And to help you along, send me your email address and I will gladly share a juicy (no, not like that) sex story that you can use for your article.

Dapoppins said...

otherwise, I loved the picture. Oh, that is classic.

Liza's Eyeview said...

Sex in marriage is a good thing - I'm looking forward to your blog on that at Housekeeping Magazine!

What am I doing good for myself? I'm yet to get a nice long nap - Hopefully this weekend (but then again maybe not).

Blog Mama said...

You go! Can't wait to read the new column and learn a few things???

Princess in Galoshes said...

CONGRATULATIONS! That's so exciting! :-)

Also- I am tres jealous of your new hair. I had big plans of going red this fall, myself, and my appointment was scheduled for this Saturday. Sadly, I am still climbing out of debt from the wedding... so I rescheduled for later in December. :-(

sari said...


My nine year old told me on the way to school that they've been playing "Carcass" at school. He's The King Carcass because he was found first.

I don't know, really - I don't.

Jenster said...

I can't wait to read your column. As someone who wouldn't ever think of writing about my sex life but then ended up telling the entire world - specifically my entire church which is over 2,000 people - about how surgery and chemo screwed it up (no pun intended... well, maybe...) I'm all for "putting it all out there"!

amisare waswerebeen said...

I think I can definitely contribute a thought or two on that along those lines. I hope it will help.

Thanks for your vote for martyrdom by 6th graders.

Single Mom Seeking said...

You go girl!!

I'm so excited for you... can't wait to hear about what you reveal.

Em said...

Otherwise you look great. LOL Too funny. Can't wait to see the new portrait!

Congrats on the column! And no, I'm not having lots of sex, so hopefully your column will provide some inspiration!

Elaine said...

Congrats on the gig! My condolences to your family, though. ha ha

ms chica said...

Why shouldn't we exhibit all the scars of experience? After all, isn't that why they want us around in the first place, experience?

I look forward to your debut in GH!

Gretchen said...

I'll have to tell Big that Mama P says to have some sex. A lot of sex, actually.

Congrats on the column!!! Wahoo! far as your "friend" and her advice. With friends like that, who needs enemas? I'm sure she's really nice though. Really.

freefalling said...

Why do you think it is some people put it all out there for the world to see?
Speaking of which, I'm glad you enjoyed my giant ram's testicles.

Susie Q said...

Oh my God!! I am SO proud of you...and it is not like I had anything to do with this but I just am. Is that weird or anything? : )
I am thrilled for you and giddy really! If I can;t be the writer that I so wish I could be, I will just be tickled that I KNOW you!! I am a weird lady but I really AM proud OF you and FOR you!! I can not wait!

Sex...hmm...I do think I have heard about it. It has something to do with men right? Or women? One of those.

And about that picture...if it looked even remotely like the one you posted a while ago, you are G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S. Still, weird o that I am, I also laughed when I read the letter. Too funny...U have a friend like that...we say the most vile things to one another and laugh like hyenas over them.

Now, have I mentioned how proud of you I am???