Thursday, November 01, 2007

Witch Way to the Sugar????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We survived Halloween! Three families joined us for a spooktacular time. Lots of noise, lots of laughter, and very little insanity of the fatal kind.

I'm once again amazed that if I'd planned a menu, or had a huge agenda, it wouldn't have flowed as nicely.
Taking a cue from my kids' preschool, I made last minute string cheese spiders. I threw together a gluten-free graveyard, replete with R.I.P. in organic ketchup. See the green stuff? That's not brocalli. It's haunted trees! They were cut down by a mad cemetary janitor. My kids even managed a nap before the festivities arrived. (Who needs Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook when you've got Mama P OCD brain. Though I hear, despite wanting to be snarky, that it's a great read.)

Today was marked with lots of whining for candy. Stink: "Mommy, I ate 2 bites of brocalli. So can I have the Skittles NOOOOOW?" Me: "You haven't eaten your greens yet." Stink: (seperating them by color, pointing to the green pile): "How about I eat these?"

Part of my kids' elation is that they don't eat sugar at all anymore. Halloween for them is like an alcoholic, ten years sober, falling off the wagon at Bev Mo.

Mama P, sugar guidance counselor extraordinaire, is trying to be understanding. I'm letting them have their day in the sun. (Literally, the sun. They are hiiiiigh, man.) But tomorrow it goes away. I fully expect shaking, sweating and the cursing of, "You don't know what it's like to live without the white stuff, dude!" But a few days later, when they're clear eyed and bushy tailed, I know they'll appreciate me.

Or when they're 18 and can navigate their way through a salad bar at the university cafeteria.
If they even have cafeterias at college in 15 years and they're not ingesting everything through capsules.
But will they make gluten-free capsules?
And what if the kids don't go to college? That will be fine, as long as they're happy. But how will they get enough money to pay for their organic food packets without a degree? Because they're certainly not going to eat the day away under myyyyyy roof.

All done now.

Um, wait. A quick joke for the 4th grader living inside of you. Why can't female witches get knocked up? Because male witches have hollow weenies! (I say 4th grade because, like the gluten-free food capsules, society is getting so advanced. Perhaps I'll start writing a Birds and Bees book for the toddler crowd. It could be my ticket to millions!!!!!!!! Which the kids still won't get their hands on if they're living under my roof in 15 years instead of going to college.)


Pam said...

This was absolutely delightful! And I loved your giant green monster and Rex's T-shirt.

liv said...

Beautiful family, terrific food. Rex is so handsome. What are you gonna do?

meno said...

I suspect it will be longer than a few days befor ethey thank you. more like a few decades.

That food has some interesting colors.

Dapoppins said...

I want to know what happens when kids who don't usually get sugar are treated to it to their hearts delight? Was it really like a crack addict coming off a high?

Dapoppins said...

Those cheese stick spiders are really cool. I had no idea that is what they are, but they are cool. And my kids eat veggies too. Or rather, they eat ranch dip and use the veggies as a spoon. I am glad you had a great holiday. What the heck is that huge black and green think stalking the kids?