Thursday, October 12, 2006

Let Me Revise

...Lest any of you think I'm against bragging about my kids, I remind you to read every other post on this site. I'm done trying to pretend this isn't a Mommy blog. I can say all I want about "it's a descriptive entry into the life of a writer". I might as well add candles and a statue in front of my kids smiling mugs and call it a day.

What I simply meant by being tired of bragging is the one-ups I hear at parties. Not the "I'm proud" moments. More of the "I have the best child in the universe and though I see you have a blind monkey humping your head and sqwaking the Margarena I can't talk about it because I am too busy rambling about my toddler's brilliant finger painting" kind of boasting.

On another note, I have a store.

It is plus size.

It is live on EBAY.

This plug, like the boasting parents at any facilities that include the word 'gym' and 'Einstein', is shameless.

Too burned out to care.

My husband sleeps, while I frantically list 2000 skirts and possibly my daughter's stained training pants.


All clothes are plus size (1x, 2x and 3x, size 16 - 24). All are name brand from Macy's including Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Olfani. All have original price tags. All are being sold at 80% off original value.

Most important, you need the code word to take advantage of my fabulous offer: TIRED CRANKY MAMA FUCK OFF

It's been a pleasure doing business with you!

PS: IN a complete haze of skirts, sequins and plus size Xmas sweaters, I got to thinking about Elmo's pubic hair. If he actually sprouted some, given that he's already so red and furry, how would he know it's there? You get will get an additional dollar off shipping if you can answer that burning question.


amisare waswerebeen said...

I know, I would be curly!

meno said...

but Kermit's would be green!

kim said...

I love that red sweater!!