Wednesday, October 18, 2006
What Moms Do!
You know that section in US Magazine called "What Stars Do?" (or something like that?) They always have these little quotes and then pictures of famous people doing regular things. "They get coffee" ... shot of Gwen Stefani drinking a latte. "They fuel up" Oh, it's Brad Pitt getting gas! Neato! "They eat Mexican food". It's Nicole Richie munching on a burrito! Wait... she's eating? Must have been a stand-in.
For any of you celebrity readers out there interested in what I do while my husband is gone for DAYS ON END, I have a little picture show up above. If my techie man was home, or I had more time to invest in Typepad, I'd learn how to publish shots via links, or at least within the body of this writing. Instead, you'll have to match my quote with the picture box above. If it's too confusing, grab your assistant and let them do it for you. Ready?
What Moms Do!
* They let their kids make pizza for breakfast!
* They turn off the fire alarm before scratching off the charcoal with an Elmo spoon!
* They fail at training their children to sleep in the same room, seperate beds!
* They make them read 1 minute for every 1 hour of TV!
* They intend to buy Pottery Barn burgandy chairs for the TV room then relent when the kids fall in love with a tacky Nemo patio set on Tuesday at Albertsons!
* They push the kids to the courthouse around the corner to pay speeding tickets, then afterwards let them loose so they can roll down the grass out front (while Mommy races after them with an empty carriage, inwardly thanking God that although she wants more time alone, she's grateful not to be the woman in the White Stag suit smoking a cigarette who's probably thinking "I wish I could be home with my kids". Or "Haha! Look at that mom! Glad I'm working!" And the stroller isn't empty. The rugrats had buckled in two dolls, 2 lollipops, an empty bag of popcorn and a "baby pinecone" they picked up along the way. Some squirrel out there is pissed.)
I hope this excitement doesn't scare any of you stars from reading more. Tune in next week for the "They do clean out the potty chair" section. (Retitled "What Moms Doo!")