Monday, April 09, 2007

What is a Bigger Joke?

1. Getting a five, four, three and two year old to sit on a railway tie and pose for a photo, or...

2. This joke.

They're both good. Happy Monday, people!

How to convert a bear.

A Catholic priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They'd all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they were all together again discussing their experiences

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches and has various bandages, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the catechism.

Now that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God! he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire-and-brimstone style he told his story. "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from GOD'S HOLY WORD!

But that bear wanted nothing to do with ME. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, Father, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in very bad shape.

The rabbi looked up at them and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."


hamiam said...

I'm confused...and holding out for the punchline...if that's it, then color me blonde, cuz I don't get it ;-)

meno said...

I think something is missing here.

hamiam said...

Ok, NOW that's funny!

Princess in Galoshes said...

Heh heh. Nice.

So I just heard one. Stop me if you've heard it. (Or not. You know. Seeing as how it's written.)

So a frog walks into a bank, and up to a teller, who's got a nametag that reads, "Allison Paddywack." He hands her a little pink porcelain elephant, and says he needs a loan.

Teller: You want to use this as collateral?!

The Frog: Yes, Mrs. Paddywack.

Teller: Um. No.

The Frog: Don't you know who I am?

Teller: A frog?

The Frog: I'm Mick Jagger's son!

Teller: ???

The teller calls the manager over, and explains the situation, and hands him the little pink porcelain elephant, questioningly.

The manager goes: It's a knick-nack, Paddywack! Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!

Hee hee?