Monday, November 07, 2005

Coking it Up

This just in from Texas Lizzy. I am disturbed. Now do I not only have to feel guilty for indulging in a terrible habit, but I can add 'you're going to die you lame coke addict' to the list.

Enjoy the light read.
WATER OR COKE? This is really an eye opener... Water or Coke? We all know that water is important but I've never seen it written down like this before.

WATER 1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. 2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger. 3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%. 4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study. 5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue. 6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. 7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page. 8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. And now for the properties of COKE: 1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident. 2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days. 3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola in! to the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China. 4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola. 5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion. 6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes. 7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy. 8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. 9. It will also clean road haze from your windshield. For Your Info: 1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis. 2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials. 3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years! Now the question is, would you like a coke or a glass of water?


'Thought & Humor' said...

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinite goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

'Thought & Humor'

cecelia said...

Oh no! The evil Dr. Howdy is back!! Run for your lives!!!!!

K said...

I m goingt obe the spokesfabulouslady for Diet Coke. That's a bunch of crap. Here's why...I drink enough water to fill up the Panama Canal and I am cranky at 3:00, tired and hungry constantly, and have an aching back due to large boosums. So I say...go forth and drink up. Oh, and here's why people like you can sell @#$%$! on ebay..the latest addition to my Asian people salt/pepper collection-just in time for Thanksgiving....Asian Pilgrims!!!!! dressed in historical Americana...holy buckets...I love them!!!! they went over my $10 limit, but it was worth it...

Mama P said...

First off, congrats on your Asian pilgrims! I can't wait to see them. YOu can say they landed on 'Pilgram rawwwk'. Okay, that was racist. Any Asians out there, feel free to diss me - the six one white wack job. I'm an open forum for insults.

Second, I appreciate your defense of my diet soda addiction. If I could look like you - a blond bombshell with big boobs - I'd gladly drink it and not worry about it. But the thought of dying a plus size amazon with cancer is starting to freak me out...Not enough to keep me from refilling a two day old McDonalds cup with bubbly on my way to Kaiser for Zoloft refills, but still... I'm a freaked out whiny hypocrite.