Friday, November 18, 2005

No More Tears for Fears

Had a much better day today. It's amazing what good talk and a plan can do. Just the idea that I have six hours on Sunday to do what I want... be it write, paint, thrift, or simply sit in m SUV in front of the Canoga Park El Pollo Loco and people watch makes me as giddy as an Oprah Winfrey/Tom Cruise interview. I'm not about to jump on a sofa, but considering yesterday I was this close to landing on a therapist's couch, I'm pretty content.

Nick and Sophie were in great form today. They actually sat in the kitchen sink for over an hour while I took photos of my last remaining Ebay items. As much as I love the anniversary edition of "Star Trek Omnipedia: a voice-activated guide to the future", it's about to beam out of here.

Nick is now into Spanish, and he's into pretend play. I smiled as I watched him say to Sophie "Hola. This is an azul truck. Watch as it goes under the rojo bridge! Watch out for the ugly old troll! Never mind... that's just mama."

I took my brother to Social Security while my mother watched the kids. I do not lie when I say it was heaven. For those of you faithful viewers, you know that I grapple with religion. Which means sometimes I doubt if heaven really does exist. But today... being alone for 2 hours... I am seeing the light. It's as if God himself sat in my passenger seat and whispered, "Child... take this Diet Coke... ponder the trash on DeSoto...and be happy... for this is Heaven. But before you do, take a course at the DMV, because you drive like crap.") As Brother M. waited his turn on hard plastic government chairs, I ran errands... the tile store for an estimate on kitchen floors (I'm thinking brown and black ceramic diner tiles... as of YESTERDAY. James is thinking inexpensive linoleum, as of February... Decision T.B.A.. ) I hit McDonalds for a Diet Coke and 2.5 cookies (as opposed to 3... I'm whittling my way off them... I also lie like a mofo). My final destination? Predicatably the thrift store where I nabbed 150.00 bucks worth of kids clothes for nine dollars. I can't wait to send Nick off to Catholic preschool in his Harley Davidson black and orange sports shirt.

With the wind in my hair and my country music blasting, I almost forgot that this time yesterday I was crying my eyes out. Clearly I don't set the bar too high, or I am low maintenance, because by my smile, you'd have thought I was in a convertible Mercedes on Sunset. It felt that good. Botoxed blond in a botoxed Mercedes cut me off.... I flashed her my best grin. Teenager in a beat up bug gave me the finger... I just winked. The gardener in front of me could have dumped cow shit on my roof and I'd have been, "Ooooh, I guess I'll be gardening this weekend! Gracias, Senor!"

My kids are now sleeping (one on James). As I type to the background of James' Age of Empires computer cd, I might as well be an animated princess called,"The Queen of Thrifting who Captured Time in a Bottle"... My voice would boom in surround sound "Beware you crafty knights... I don't care how shiny your armor is... you take away my personal time and I'll slit your throats quicker than a bubbly goes down mine. But before you die, can you clean my toilets?"

Did I mention how much happier I am today? Wacky, fried, and still not in love with my living room paint, but happy. And I can't even credit the Zoloft. Sometimes, just when things seem unmanageable, life throws you a curve ball of joy. Be it some money, a good friend, or in my case, some time. It's true that the best things in life are free.

Except for maids.

They cost money.

And I'd sell James to have one still, but that's just me.

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