Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy Birthday 3 Year Old

It's hard to believe that 3 years ago New Year's Eve I left my own party to go give birth. Stink was a month early, but he clearly didn't want to miss the celebration. I thought I'd be freaked out about labor, but my water breaking came as such a surprise, I didn't have time to panic. Before I even settled into the hospital bed I had an epidural and fell asleep. Eight hours later it was time to push, and minus one hour of discomfort when they turned my drip off, I had a text book delivery.

Rex and I didn't know what we were having, and I can still picture my mother and Rex's mom at the delivery room door screaming "What is it! What is it!" and Rex yelling back "We don't know! It's not all the way out yet!" And then I felt something like a slippery fish fall out of me and the doctor said, "It's a boy!" And they put him on me. I could smell his newness. He was crying like a little sheep. And as I held him close I couldn't help but think with terror, "Oh my god, he looks like Cartman from Southpark."

His looks really were an enigma. Where did that big circle headed boy come from? Why was he blonde? What was with the blue eyes? These attributes only made me love Stink even more. He was his own person from day 1. I realized then and there that God doesn't give us kids as accessories. They are full packages with their own agendas. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and making the trip into the NICU. I remember the exhilartion of picking him up and kissing him for the first time, thinking "I can't believe I did this. He's mine." I had never felt so intoxicated with happiness in my entire life.

I know some of you moms out there didn't bond with your kids right away. I understand that, as it took me a bit longer with Pipsqueak, who I now adore with every fiber of my being. But with Stinker, it was as if the world st0pped. I couldn't stop eating and calling everyone I knew and snapping photos. This kid was mine, and from the moment I saw him, my heart burst in two and I knew I'd never be the same again.

I totally get why people want more and more kids. They want to relive that first experience just one more time. How cliche, but how true, it is that they go from little babies who coo at your every look to potty trained toddlers who love all things Dora, Scooby Doo, Diego, and of course, trains. Stinker is Mr. Personality, half angel, half devil. With his big eyes and blonde curls, I fall in love with him more every day.

Big sarcastic me wants to say something witty, but I'm too busy crying right now.

I love you Stinky Malone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(* Pictured: Nick in the NICU, or as we dubbed it, the NICK U... Me post epidural - you can see the needle in the photo. Despite its length, I highly recommend it! And of course, my three year old, last week on Xmas eve at Stella's.)


War Bride said...

Awww what a nice post! Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday little one!

gamastel said...

You did "good", girl! Happy 2006 to you and your adorable brood - all "4" of you! Luv you lots and lots.....