The Male Man & Scene 1 WAC

As I was rushing to transfer my sleeping chillins from the SUV to the house, my mailman, Scott, ran up to me. He's a nice 32 year old guy that looks more like a cute bartender than a government worker. As it turns out, he used to be in the entertainment business, but once he got married and had kids, he had to get a stable gig. I usually donate my Writers' Guild scripts and DVDs to him, leaving them on the front porch for him to pick up during a route. On the rare our occasion our schedules collide, we chat in the driveway about movies, kids and how to balance life with dreams... all sorts of your average post man/house frau conversation.

Today he handed me his card and shook my hand, announcing that he'd been transferred back to Lancaster where he lives. He wanted to stay in touch so he could bounce WGA stuff off me, which is fine. While showing me photos of his family, he mentioned that his 4 year old daughter just landed a commercial agent and is going out on lots of auditions. He told me if ever I wanted to get my loud mouth baby girl on the Pampers Money train to give him a shout out in return for my script and writing generosity.

Who says housewives can't do business from their porch? With cute mailmen and Ebay, we can run the world!

Here's the next scene of my pilot.... And keep in mind... this is not meant to be a rocket science script. We're talking ABC midstream TV, okay? It's also a first draft. Not that it's not hiiiiiiilarious, because it is. Sometimes. Just shut up and read.

Also please note: Women Are Crazy is going to be shortened to WAC from now on. As in Mama P is WhACked for typing when she should be sleeping while her kids are sleeping.

And now, a final shout out to Papa John who attended Stink's school on Grandparent day. He loved it! "He" meaning Stink. Papa John? I'm not so sure, but he was a good sport. And I heard from a few moms in the lobby, while we were waiting for the big grandparent/kid dismissal "Oh, you brought Papa John? He made quite the impression during circle time."

Hmmmmm.

ACT ONE
SCENE A

FADE IN:
INT. GARAGE/OFFICE - DAY (DAY 2) (JIMMY, FRANKIE, GEORGE)

Jimmy stumbles into his garage - also the home office for his job placement business, MFA - "More Frequent Assignments". His female business partner, FRANKIE, is already fast at work, headphones on, typing on the computer, drinking coffee.

JIMMY
What are you so happy about?

FRANKIE
Just George. You know how frisky he gets after a night of online gaming.

JIMMY
I wish I didn't, but every Monday you tell me.

GEORGE, a handsome geek, crawls out from under a desk.

GEORGE
Not only am I the online conqueror of nations by night, but I am your server's master by day. Bow down!

FRANKIE
I'd do it if I were you. My husband just saved us thousands of dollars in computer repairs.

JIMMY
Which I'll be putting toward therapy if I ever bow to a man in a skirt.

GEORGE
It's a kilt. For our Scottish CEO's welcome lunch. There's a reason I keep ascending that corporate ladder.

JIMMY
As long as I'm not under it while you're climbing, good for you.

FRANKIE (turning to George)
Bye, babe. Don't be late tonite. Don't forget the milk. And stop by the cleaners... and the pet store.

GEORGE
Anything else, just call.

JIMMY
Or yank his leash.

And with a kiss to Frankie, George exits.

FRANKIE
He wears the skirt, I wear the pants.

JIMMY
And if I don't make a deal soon I'm gonna lose my shorts.

FRANKIE
Lucky for you, I just got us a contract with Eddy Edwards.

JIMMY
You landed Crazy Eddy? (Singing theme song) IF YOU GOT BAD CREDIT BUT YOU STILL GET PAID / DON'T YOU SWEAT IT OUR MATTRESSES WILL GET YOU… LOVIN' A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP.

FRANKIE
He's looking for a V.P. of Sales.

JIMMY
Nice, title. Nice title means nice salary. Nice salary means nice commission. Nice!

FRANKIE
I knew you'd be proud of me. I told him we knew a lot about mattresses because we both have two kids.

JIMMY
Well, in my case you should have said, "He also an expert on futons." I swear I haven't gotten lucky since my son was conceived four years ago.

FRANKIE
You have a one year old daughter.

JIMMY
Once in four years is not lucky. It's begging.

FRANKIE
Does it make you feel better that I'll never have as much sex as you did in college?

JIMMY
Since apparently I'm not going to either, the answer is no.

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