Women Are Crazy - Cold Open

Okay, so I am done with the First Draft of my pilot, Women Are Crazy. I am going to put a scene a day up so you can read it without being stuck at your computers for a half hour at a time. For those non script readers out there, a typical script is 40 pages long, 10 scenes or so, 5 per act.

I hesitated to post this, for fear of plagery. Then again, I should be so lucky someone from my old biz (other than my agent) is out there trying to steal my work. I'll take the chance for some good feedback.

Hope you smile a bit. (I like it anyway, so nanny nanny nanny noo)

Drum Roll............

Women Are Crazy

A Pilot by Mama P

Cold Opening

A brass bed is covered in various articles of clothing: a veil, a bow tie, a blue garter belt. Hillary and Jimmy, an attractive couple in their early 30s, kiss madly.

JIMMY
I could make love to you forever.

HILLARY
Since you just married me, that's a good thing.

JIMMY
Was that what we did today? All I remember is downing three shots and dancing with a fat chick.

HILLARY
That was the mother/son dance. (THEN) And watch the fat jokes. What if I gained weight?

JIMMY
You mean going from a 36 B to a 36 C kind of weight?

HILLARY
I'm talking 38, 48, 38.
Jimmy takes a beat - confused.

HILLARY
I'm pregnant. Found out this morning. (OFF HIS LOOK) What. You wanted kids after we married.

JIMMY
Not five minutes after.

HILLARY
I guess we unofficially had a shot gun wedding.

JIMMY
(LOOKING UNDER COVERS) I say we celebrate with a 38 special.

Hillary rolls on top of him and kisses him. Pan out.

Pan in: 9 months later. Hillary sits on Jimmy's lap, 8 months prego.

HILLARY
Still want to make love to me forever?

JIMMY
(NOT BREATHING WELL) I do. And I think the end is near.

HILLARY
Oooh, do you need some oxygen? (Kissing him, then huge smile) Did I mention how much I love you?

She smiles at him.

PAN OUT.

PAN IN. Hillary is still smiling - at an adorable toddler.

HILLARY
(TO BABY) Did I mention how much I love you?

JIMMY
(A LA BABY) "Yes, Mommy. Now it's time that this bed had some action!"

He picks up the baby and slides it up and down Hillary's once again prego belly. Hillary laughs some more.

JIMMY
Remember those days when all we did was make love in this bed?

HILLARY
Yes. And we will again. Promise.

PAN OUT:

PAN IN: Jimmy and Hillary on one side of the bed. Nick, now 2, is doing an Evil Canival jump over their 6 month old daughter who screeches with laughter. Jimmy looks at Hillary.

JIMMY
Babe, I have to get up early tomorrow.

HILLARY
(VERY PISSY) Then go to sleep!
PAN IN: On a very defeated Jimmy.

PAN OUT: On a still defeated Jimmy. He is alone, on the couch, covered in a baby quilt. He picks up a teddy bear.

JIMMY
Will I ever sleep with my wife again?

He pulls the teddy bear's string.

TEDDY BEAR
Not a chance in hell, Suckaa!

Off Jimmy's surprised look:

FADE OUT: